


Shower Shenanigans

by FLEISCHGEWEHR



Category: Rammstein
Genre: Blow Jobs, Established Relationship, Fluff, Friendship, Humor, M/M, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-28
Updated: 2020-09-28
Packaged: 2021-03-07 17:29:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,136
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26701435
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FLEISCHGEWEHR/pseuds/FLEISCHGEWEHR
Summary: Water dilemma, cheap hair dye and secrets.
Relationships: Paul Landers/Christoph Schneider | Doom, Richard Kruspe/Till Lindemann
Comments: 6
Kudos: 37





	Shower Shenanigans

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by Schneider's magnificent hair at 6th Harley-Davidson Motorcycle Jamboree '96.  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dx1HlSoqViU

The band was standing in a circle in the middle of a bus discussing an issue loudly,with a lot of arguing. They all needed to take a shower after a hot day and an even hotter Festival performance. But the tiny cheap bus physically couldn't provide enough hot water for the 6 men. 

“I'll go first, you all can wash in a lake for all I care,” Richard declared.   
“And why is it you who's going first?” Paul wasn't having any of this.   
“My band, my rules.” Richard crooked a brow, crossing his arms. Paul was about to launch himself on the arrogant man but was caught on his shoulder with Schneider's hand. Blue haired man shook his head, whispering "not worth it". Paul sighed, relaxing a bit.   
“Then let Till go first! He's our frontman after all! We can't let our front stink!”   
Till only laughed quietly at Paul's statement. He was trying to keep away from confrontation for as long as he could. This time Richard actually thought over Paul's proposal, making the smaller man - ready to attack any moment - a bit surprised.   
“We can shower in pairs. It'll save water and everyone should get plenty of heat if others are quick.” Olli used the pause to make his own proposition.   
“Me and Schneider will go first then! We're the fastest!” Paul grabbed Schneider by the arm, ready to run if they needed to. Instead, everyone just giggled or tried to suppress a laugh. Paul looked at them with confusion on his face.   
“What?...” he turned to Schneider only to find him face-palming heavily.   
“OK, bunnies. Just be quick.” Till spoke up, finally ending this argument.   
Paul became red when realization hit him. He was about to protest and defend his honor or deny his relationship with Schneider but was quickly pulled towards the shower by the latter.   
Everyone else was relaxed and moved into different corners of the bus to kill time until their turn. 

\---

Clothes were quickly removed and tossed on the floor of the tiny bus bathroom. Schneider and Paul were standing in front of each other, caressing each other's skin, hastily kissing and bickering in the process. 

“That was really smooth, Paul. They totally suspect nothing now.” Schneider moved to Paul's neck with hot kisses.   
“I'm sorry! I can't exactly think straight right now…” he pressed himself closer to Schneider, letting his erection settle along his thigh.  
“Oh, I can feel that!” Schneider moved one hand lower, grabbing Paul's hard cock and starting to slowly stroke it.   
“We need to get in or we'll end up without a shower...at all.” Paul gasped at rough caressing and pulled Schneider into another hot kiss. 

With great force, they separated and squeezed into the tiny shower. Hot water was nice on equally hot bodies. 

Paul grabbed a bar of soap and started helping Schneider, working on his back, putting a bit more stroking and caressing in the process; occasionally "accidentally" pressing his hard flesh to Schneider's butt, making him loudly exhale and shudder. 

Soon he finished and they turned around. Now Schneider was helping Paul, if you could call it helping. He was kissing him again, slightly biting wet skin without any marks, his hand traveled across Paul's body, to the front, to his nipples, to his belly, caressing skin around the erect cock. 

“Schneider...do something. I can't go back like this…” Paul whined. Instantly he was turned around and Schneider dropped to his knees, taking the red tip of his cock in his mouth without hesitation. Paul bit his lip and grabbed a mess of blue hair, pushing himself inside the inviting mouth. Schneider allowed it, relaxing and taking the whole length in, until his nose pressed against Paul's groin. He sat like this for a moment, grabbing Paul's thighs with his large hands and slowly started bobbing his head, sucking the cock. It didn't take long until Paul's second hand was grabbing his hair desperately, and the body underneath his palms tensed in orgasm. After a moment Schneider let go of the sensitive dick and pressed his face into Paul's thigh, panting heavily. His own heavy erection was aching and asking for attention. 

Paul beckoned him to get up, and after he did, put a hand on his needy cock, settling into a fast rhythm. Soon Schneider started moaning quietly, moving his hips to match Paul's movements, and with a few more strokes finished himself in time for knocking on the bathroom door. 

“C’mon, lover birds! There's a line here if you forgot!” It was Richard. He sounded annoyingly impatient. It only made them both laugh and share one final kiss before they turned off the water and left the bathroom after drying off. 

\---

Richard looked over two men emerging from the bathroom. They looked too happy for people who were *forced* to share a tiny space and too red in the cheeks for just effects of hot water. And too blue for... Wait, what? 

Richard blinked and focused on Paul's legs, a grin creeping onto his face. The smaller guitarist was in shorts with long blue streaks coming underneath them along his legs.  
“Schneider, if you need a tip on hair dye that doesn't leave stains, just ask me.” With confusion Schneider followed Richard's gaze to Paul's legs and froze in horror. A sharp "fuck" left his mouth and he quickly moved away from the smaller man, trying to escape unavoidable rage. Paul started changing his skin colour to red for the third time, this time from both shame and anger.   
“Christoph. SCHNEIDER!!” he swiftly moved towards bags lying on the floor, looking for something. 

Meanwhile, Till got up from his place, still laughing from the scene that just happened and approached Richard.   
“You don't mind?”   
Richard shook his head. Till smiled softly and addressed the last pair of Flake and Olli.   
“Me and Richard are going next. Please don't let the newlyweds kill each other.”  
Paul loudly hissed at this request and with a loud "AHA" pulled an electric clippers from one of the bags. Till sighed and motioned Richard to go first into the bathroom. 

As they were undressing they could hear shuffling in the bus and loud conversations. 

“Hey Schneider Schneider, Schneider, come here!”   
“Get away from me!!”   
“Aawww, it won't hurt. Just a quick cut and that's it.”   
“You don't touch my hair, Landers!”  
It seems spectators started worrying because the third voice belonging to Olli joined the mess.   
“C'mon guys, there's no need for this.”   
“There's no need for his stupid blue hair!!”   
“Yesterday you were ecstatic about it!”  
“Yesterday nobody knew that we fuck, Schneider!!”   
The buzzing of the hair clippers made even more commotion in the main area. Even Flake joined the arguing.   
“Oh c'mon you two. We knew for a long time. You both are obvious.” 

“Hey…” Richard's fingers stroked Till's cheek, bringing his attention back to the bathroom.   
“Do you think they know about us?” Till caught Richard's hand, giving his knuckles a quick kiss and moved towards the shower, turning on the water.   
“I don't know. I don't think so? Those two loud idiots are pretty good distraction.”   
Richard smirked, remembering all the muffled moans and kisses Schneider and Paul shared thinking nobody could hear or see them. He joined Till under the warm water, starting to scrub himself. The water was already not as hot as he hoped for and would only get colder. 

He felt hands gently rubbing his back and relaxed to the touch, his mind now wondering to their own sneaky private time. Till was really good at hiding from the public's eyes when he wants to. And not only in hiding.. 

Warmth quickly spread through Richard's body and he turned around. Arms went around Till's neck and he pulled him into a tender kiss. Till returned it instantly, hugging Richard in return. 

Till was passionate about many things. Music, craft, love... The last one was not for public eyes, though. The thought of being the special one who's lucky enough to see Till Lindemann being passionate in love made Richard thrilled every time. And he intended to never see the end of it. 

His hands moved lower, caressing broad shoulders, to his muscular chest but he wasn't allowed to go further. Till grabbed his wrists and shook his head.   
“Not here, Richard.”

He wanted to fight Till, convince him that he doesn't mind having sex in cliche environment like this, but fire in Till's greenish eyes made him stop in his tracks. He knows this look. It means something better is waiting for him later, something worth waiting for. 

Richard nodded and just leaned for another slow kiss. They ended showering quickly after and emerged to the silent scene. Schneider and Paul were sitting on the other sides of the bus, but tension between them was tangible on a physical level. 

Richard raised a brow in question to two lanky men sitting on the couch in the middle of all this. They both shrugged and shook their heads, not daring to say a word. Till quietly laughed and whispered at Richard's ear, while Olli and Flake quickly retreated into the bathroom.   
“I'll grab a few things and meet you outside.”   
Richard shivered under the deep voice and nodded, leaving the bus.   
His mind reminded him about their conversation earlier, about a lake Till found not far away from their stop. Perfect hideout. Richard realized where it was going and smiled to himself. 

\---

Flake wasn't waiting for anyone anymore, not anytime soon. He was done with those idiots. He just wanted to shower; is it too much to ask? 

He dropped his clothes on the floor and without any confirmation from Olli crawled into the tiny space, turning the water on. At first it was tolerably warm, but a minute after, it turned completely cold. 

“Fucking...balls…” Flake hissed. He turned around to grab the soap only to jump in surprise when he saw Olli standing near further wall, scrubbing himself.   
“When did you manage to sneak in???” Flake yelped and snatched the soap, starting to clean himself.   
“Right after you?” Olli crooked a brow not being sure how Flake didn't notice 2m of a human *sneaking* into a tiny shower.   
“Those fuckers used all the hot water! Did they even need water??” Flake was fuming. Olli nodded towards him, silently asking if he can offer him help with the back. Flake shook his head and continued, “No, don't answer. Probably needed. I don't want them to walk around smelling like each other.” 

The water was completely freezing and Flake started shaking from the cold. 

“You know you can get pneumonia from showers like this! And it's still a pretty high risk of lethality even with modern day medicine!” 

He moved to shampoo his hair, never stopping talking. 

“Though to be fair, when I was young we had baths like this sometimes. Hot water was a problem back then but I never complained! We used to go to local bathhouses, that was a real sense of community! Nowadays people forgot what community is. When the west came into our lives…”

When Flake washed his hair and opened his eyes, Olli was already dressing up. Yet again he was surprised how silent this person can be. 

“I'll leave in case you need...private time.” He said it without a shred of emotion on his face, just an announcement as he closed the bathroom door behind himself. 

Flake finally turned off the water and looked down on himself. Does he need time alone? It was a pretty stressful week and it was sometime since he had a girl in his arms. He closed his eyes to try to bring any images in his head to see if it'll get him going, but the only thing that he saw were Paul's blue legs and realization hit him. He suddenly turned around and jumped away from the shower, starting hastily dressing up and fuming again. 

\---

Flake finally emerged from the bathroom only to find Paul laying in Schneider's arms on the couch and nobody else around. They were lazily kissing in the sun that was shining through the window, paying no attention to their new company. 

Flake coughed to get their attention and awkwardly looked around.   
“Where's everybody?”  
“Richard and Till left as soon as they came back from the shower said something about a lake, I didn't listen.” Paul shrugged.   
“And Olli?”   
“I thought he's with you?” Schneider answered this time. 

"Great," Flake thought to himself and stomped toward the outside. No peace, no privacy, no hot water, no decent company!   
“I'm going for a walk!” Flake snapped before leaving, but there was no reaction from the depth of the bus. Only more shifting and sighs.


End file.
